Long and winding road

Every bit of this journey of grief and healing is long--longer than I could ever expect--and winding--windier in more ways than I dreamed off. Mind you, who dreams of losing half your heart.

It seems I miss Faye in new ways every other day.

The newest way is interesting. Or it would be interesting if I could examine it from the outside looking in--or objectively. Of course I can't do that.

But I've been blessed with hints about a new life and healing and good things ahead.

One of several items is encouragement arising through my involvement in Toastmasters. I've won a competition and evaluators of veteran Toastmasters have been very encouraging.

That makes me happy but then I think about how much, how very much, I'd like to talk to Faye about it. But I can't. That pang is worth it, but it's a pang nonetheless.

And then I think about the impossible--how much I would like to have Faye's hand in mine as I watch this exciting new journey. It would happen.

The road ahead is winding and foggy in places. But I am excited. Yet I ache.

Pressing on.