Thursday, June 13, 2019

Fond memory

This quote could be referring to my Faye.

There are many things I remember about her. Lately I've been thinking about her work ethic.

Faye had an absolutely incredible work ethic--which sometimes drifted into workaholism. This quote is describing her. She never, ever turned up her nose at work.

If there was work to be done, Faye rolled up her sleeves and got right to it--immediately. I say immediately because I honestly can't think of anyone with less tendency toward procrastination than my Faye. She did not put things off--even things she would rather not do.

And in her work she was a servant. She absolutely loved doing things for other people.

In all of that she left an amazing legacy on me, on family and everyone who knew her.

I say that as somebody who doesn't have the same work ethic. I don't.

But as I continue to feel better I am seeking to honour her with my work ethic.

Pressing on.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Getting stronger

Something has changed. Something has definitely changed.

It's not necessarily that I'm totally happy now. But I am generally happy. And it seems the sadness I feel from time-to-time is more along the lines of the sadness everybody feels from time-to-time.

Emotional ups and downs are part of life. I recognize that and the occasional bout of sadness I feel is more along the lines of that kind of sadness than deep grief.

I still think about Faye a lot every day but truly those memories have become sweet memories of a beautiful who touched my life in many, many ways.

I sense new emotional stability or strength. I also sense a restoration of ambition and a slowly developing work other and genuine desire to start living a fruitful and productive life again. I sense hope for the future. I'm almost tempted to say I've climbed that mother of all mountains. I admit, I'll have to see about that. But I have hope.

What's happening. Creeping along, inch-by-inch, has actually moved me forward. The movement was imperceptible but I was moving forward. The ongoing love and support of friends, family and church have helped.

A change in diet has helped, very quickly, to restore mental clarity and focus.

Three hours of ministry with Restoring the Foundations have seen things click into place. And I am very grateful.

Hard times almost assuredly come. But I know I'm stronger. That subterranean monster may still be there but it's smaller.

And I press on.