Her fragilities

I've been thinking about Faye's flaws, or perhaps rather her fragilities. Because they didn't hinder my love for her, they were part of what and who I embraced.

I started along this train of thought when her glasses--the glasses she was wearing when she died--caught my eye. She couldn't see at all without her glasses on.

Then I started thinking about some other things. For instance, Faye was a very poor speller. And numbers somehow always eluded her.

I look back at those little weaknesses, and yes they were little, with nothing but affection. She regularly asked me for help with her spelling or to correct some minor numbers error, for instance putting one zero too many or too few on a number. And yes, I'm smiling.

A lot of people may have thought Faye was just this confident, practical, blunt farm girl but she was more sensitive than may have been apparent on the surface. She had a great sensitivity to the thought she wasn't very smart. It was one of those self doubts that can trouble people.

Sometimes I may have hurt her by saying, or doing, something that made her think I felt she was stupid. She wasn't and I didn't feel that but it's one those little regrets.

And all of those things filled my heart with tenderness toward to wonderful woman God blessed me with.

Pressing on.