When I lost her I felt like I had been abandoned in the death zone of a mountain. The death zone is a place of rock, ice and not enough oxygen to breathe. The sides of Mt Everest are littered with the corpses of people who couldn't make it off the mountain.
At the same time God gave me confidence that inch by inch, day by day, this mountain would be mine. And that He would get the glory from it. That confidence has given me the strength and vision to keep pressing on through the worst, most painful year of my life.
Of late the clouds of cleared and I can see the summit. It is within reach. New life is within reach. And I am so very, very thankful.
It reminds me of something I've read about people who have survived accidents in the wilderness or on mountains. They commonly speak of getting a glimpse of Heaven from a seat in Hell. In otherwise, even in the struggle and the pain of moving inch by inch toward survival they have the grace to see beauty.
I have often seen beauty over the last year. The beauty of memories. The beauty in the love of God, even in my bad times. The beauty of good people sent to me to walk alongside.
I can see a new beauty that thrills me to the bone. Who knows what tomorrow brings. I can't predict anything but I know God is good. And I see beauty. And I press on.
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