Why I'm writing this blog

I may have written these things before but I'd like to lay out why I write this blog, trying, very hard, to be consistent in working on it. (In other words, treating it as part of my productive, working day.

1. Honestly I felt divine direction in doing this, so I do it.

2. Laying out my thoughts and emotions regarding the death of my beautiful lady is part of my healing. I firmly believe that.

3. It also allows me to track my grief journey. I know the tenor of my posts has changed over the last 16 months or so.

4. I have no idea how many readers I have but I believe this blog can help others either dealing with grief themselves, or who have friends suffering from the loss of someone they loved.

5. I have a notion of compiling all this raw material into a book at some time

I am deliberately, consciously, as emotionally honest as I can possibly. Again, there is a reason for my honesty.

I believe this would be purposeless, apart from being as raw as I can possibly be.

I actually believe in pressing in, by faith, into God's goodness. And I believe in using the language of grace and appreciation, and faith.

But there is a place for the expression of raw emotion. It needs to be let out. And that attempt at transparency lets friends know precisely where I am at, and maybe,  just maybe, it will help someone else express their pain.

I may even sometimes delve into slight over statement, again deliberately, because looking at the worst actually gives me hope that I can deal with things and move on. I've taken the hardest shot I can take. And I'm still standing here. I still believe God is good.

And I am pressing on.