Healing coming

This weird, convoluted, journey of grief has brought me back to a place of peace and energy and even a measure of happiness. And I am grateful for that. I'm particularly grateful for a restoration of a measure of energy.

But here's the thing with grieving the loss of someone you love. The monster always seems to be lurking just below the surface. Which creates something very much akin to paranoia.  I feel good today but I'm so sure about tomorrow.

So I'm learning, I admit I'm a slow learner, to live in the moment.

I'm happy-ish today. There is no guarantee about tomorrow. I could be happier, or grief could kick me in the groin. I don't know.

Literally all I have is today--this very moment. I'm not responsible for tomorrow. I can't control  tomorrow. I can live as well as possible today--this day--so I will choose to do that.

I also need to remember to live inch by inch, by inch by inch. My life will come back together that way--tiny little incremental step by step.

Thirdly, I need to always keep in mind that I am a physical being, living in a physical world. And that means growing in the physical disciplines to become healthier and stronger. And yes, I am firmly convinced bodily health affects my emotions.

If I'm healthy I will be stronger emotionally.

And I press on.