Don't take this too seriously

I'm restless. By my strictly amateur research this is common among people dealing with grief. And it makes sense as a response to the dislocation the loss of someone greatly loved can bring about in someone. Home isn't really home anymore.

We try, we do try, but it doesn't quite feel like home anymore--hence comes this feeling I describe as restlessness.

So what am I going to do with my restlessness. I could buy a pair of running shoes and make like Forrest Gump (that's him to the right) and run, north, south, east or west, destination anywhere, who cares? I guess I would prefer not to head north because I've winter so maybe I'll head south and run and run and keep running until I hit the ocean.

Or, perhaps,  I could go live among the Taramahura Indians of Mexico. They live in the Chihuahua region of Mexico. If I recall they specifically live in the Copper Canyons.

They are known as the running tribe.  Oversimplifying they run, that's what they do and grow corn.

So I could disappear, get skinny and sunburned.

But they don't eat much more than a particular kind of cornmeal and chia seeds--so meatless and running all the time. So maybe not.

Perhaps I could lose myself working in a small African village, doing who knows what but doing something.

That makes a little more sense to me.

Or maybe, just maybe, I could buy a pith helmet, board a tramp steamer spend four months onboard ship puking constantly and finally make like Sydney Greenstreet and live a scallywag in some tropical port city.

I would of course be a Christian scallywag. And I don't know if there's even such a thing as tramp steamers any more. But that's an alternative.

Did I mention that is not meant to be taken seriously?

It's not going to happen.

I don't think.

But the sense of restlessness is real and it's powerful.

There's also a reason for my over the top, melodramatic venting. It makes me laugh at myself. Really it does. It does a negative feeling and helps me to laugh at it, put it into perspective and in the process I get to feeling better.

And, you know what, I think I hear Faye laughing at me, saying something like "oh Tim, you're being silly.

And I am. But I am restless.