A ball of yarn

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, linear about the grief process. It can far better be compared to a tangled of ball of yarn--this emotion snarled about with that emotion and no predictability about which emotion will rise up next.

The emotion I'm picking out of that ball of yarn at this moment is an intense impatience. I am impatient with the process. I'm tired of it. Even as I fully understand that this is a long, tiring process, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the lack of focus and the lack of clarity regarding my future. Things will change but I'm impatient.

I'm also impatient--to the edge of irritability--with people and circumstances that I find annoying, or which don't serve me, or serve what I believe to be God's purposes for me.

I don't necessarily like what I see but so be it.

And I press on.