11 months and four days

It has been 11 months and four days since I lost my Queen.

Emotionally I'm doing better, inch by inch and day by day. I still can be very sad because the process of grieving is not a steady upward path, it is more like a ball of yarn. And I never know what thread I will put on a given day.

I can also say I'm on the cusp of moving into my new normal and beginning to live productively and with vision.

But I miss her so very much.

I miss her smile and her laugh.

I miss her energy and enthusiasm.

I miss her bustling around the house.

I miss the sound of her talking on the phone.

I miss the way we were so very different from each other.

I miss her nagging me about my eating habits.

I miss her arthritic hands which bothered her but never bothered me.

I miss the sight of her knitting.

I miss making an omelet for us in the morning.

I miss chatting.

I miss her taking a nap in the passenger seat while I drive.

I miss her persistence.

I miss her friendliness.

I miss her inviting more people over than I would prefer.

I miss everything about her, even her imperfections.

But I press on.