Deciding to live

In the immediate aftermath of Faye's death I truly did not care if I lived or if I died. I wasn't suicidal. Far from it but the thought of rejoining Faye sooner rather than later was very appealing. I would have been okay with the possibility of a plane crash on my trip to The Philippines. All I wanted was to be with Faye again. Period.

But in the four months that have passed I have regained my will to live. There's not a lot of joy as yet but I choose to live and I expect joy will return.

The first step has been to care for the physical. Some may disagree but I believe strongly in the physical first, and then the spiritual. God created a material world with people with bodies and he pronounced it good. This physical world is good. My body is good. And I need to treat it well.

Spiritual strength will follow physical health. So I've hired a personal trainer who works me hard, for which I'm grateful. A good, intense, workout is not only good for my body but good for my spirit. And that is one hour when I don't think of anything other than the next rep.

I've also recommitted to WildFit nutritional coaching.

Health is coming back and with health comes fresh hope.

Choose life.