Things that make me wonder

Faye had severe insomnia. She had prodigious energy, but she had insomnia.

Sometimes she would wait in bed for me to wake up so we could pray together but often she would get out of bed at 2 or 3 in the morning.

The reason I'm writing--or thinking--about this is somethings I've learned recently about the importance of sleep to health.

In fact there is evidently a connection between insomnia and heart disease. So I wonder did her insomnia damage her heart, or was her insomnia a symptom of an underlying illness?

Just wondering.

New heart

One of the many changes in my life since that dreadful day is that my heart is more tender. I have a deeper hunger for God and I'm more sensitive than I have ever been.
I am absolutely confident that God is in this and I need to be afraid of it.

Embracing the suck

The state of my heart has changed. It is more sensitive to pain than I can remember it ever being. This morning I felt the Lord tell me to embrace the suck.
But I also felt he was telling me that not every or heart ache is about my grief or the loss of my Faye. And that He is back of that change so accept it and flow with it.

Emmylou Harris & Rodney Crowell - Higher Mountains

All things

As I go through the waves of grief, lessening in intensity over time, I have to remind myself that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord, who are called according to His purpose.

I cannot, I will not, surrender to despair, or the lie that life and death are without purpose.

Here is Love Vast as the Ocean.

The song in the previous post was called the love song of the Welsh Revival. I watched that video over and over again in the weeks following Faye's death.

here is love vast as the ocean, Dyma gariad fel y moroedd